<div style="display:inline;"> <img height="1" width="1" style="border-style:none;" alt="" src="//googleads.g.doubleclick.net/pagead/viewthroughconversion/1028731116/?value=0&amp;guid=ON&amp;script=0">
5 ISSUES FOR £5 Subscribe to Your Chickens today click here

New henkeeper shares her reflections after two days

PUBLISHED: 16:55 13 October 2017 | UPDATED: 16:55 13 October 2017

Vikki Smith - a steep learning curve

Vikki Smith - a steep learning curve


New henkeeper Vikki Smith, from Cirencester, shared her reflections on her new hobby…

We’ve owned chickens for two whole days. I am practically an expert. As such, I consider myself highly qualified to spread my knowledge on things I have learned about chickens…

1. They poo a LOT. And not little poos. Big, stinky, wet poos that shoot out of their rear end like a rocket.

2. They are noisy. I had visions of soft, reassuring, lady-like clucking around me while I serenely sit in their run writing my blog. Nope. I hear squawking, bossy ‘paaaaaarks’ and diva grumbles. Then there’s the egg song. Bloody hell, they make a song and dance of it when they lay an egg. They have to make sure everyone knows what a great job they’ve done and celebrate the achievement with a vocal performance to rival Beyoncé. Now, bearing in mind these are hybrid girls who could lay an egg each a day, that’s a bloody concert. Seriously girls. Yes, laying an egg is impressive, but do you think you could lay off the dramatics? Just a touch?

3. They are dirty. They have absolutely no objection to walking through aforementioned poo, whatever the texture, size or colour. I once longed for the days when a hen climbed on my lap for a cuddle? Now? Hmmmmm… not so much. Not unless they wash their feet first.

4. They do NOT eat everything. They do not like lettuce. Or celery.

5. They can jump. But only upwards. And by that I mean they seem to stand in one spot and then just hop straight up into the air! Not forwards and up, just up. There is no dignity in their jump and no apparent planning.

6. When your son accidentally locks you inside their run, then goes indoors and puts his headphones on, chickens are pretty good company. Despite the smell and the sporadic rocket poos, they are funny little head bobbing, neck lurching comedians.

7. Unintentionally spending an hour and a half trapped in their run is a great way to get them used to your presence.

8. Chickens are fickle. They are only your friend if you have a handful of treats. The rest of the time they pretty much ignore you. Or walk all over your feet (with their poo-covered tootsies) looking for food. They have no idea about personal space. Unless it’s YOU getting in THEIR personal space. Then you are subject to an overly dramatic, feather shaking, huffy ‘paaaaaaaaarking’ diva-esque response.

9. They are awesome. Their bad manners, bad habits, muttering and rocket poos are nothing in comparison to the happiness I feel when I’m with them. Having been living with them for nearly two hours (albeit with no choice!) I can confirm that they make the best housemates!


Welcome , please leave your message below.

Optional - JPG files only
Optional - MP3 files only
Optional - 3GP, AVI, MOV, MPG or WMV files

Please log in to leave a comment and share your views with other Your Chickens visitors.

We enable people to post comments with the aim of encouraging open debate.

Only people who register and sign up to our terms and conditions can post comments. These terms and conditions explain our house rules and legal guidelines.

Comments are not edited by Your Chickens staff prior to publication but may be automatically filtered.

If you have a complaint about a comment please contact us by clicking on the Report This Comment button next to the comment.

Not a member yet?

Register to create your own unique Your Chickens account for free.

Signing up is free, quick and easy and offers you the chance to add comments, personalise the site with local information picked just for you, and more.

Sign up now

More from News

Monday, January 22, 2018

Poultry keepers must observe strict biosecurity

Read more
Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Homoeopathy can have remarkable success as a health treatment for chickens, says Julie Moore

Read more
Thursday, November 16, 2017

Health questions answered by poultry vet Victoria Roberts BVSc MRCVS

Read more
Thursday, November 16, 2017

Jeremy Hobson discovers the potential value of chicken keeping for children affected by autism and Asperger’s Syndrome

Read more
Friday, October 13, 2017

New henkeeper Vikki Smith, from Cirencester, shared her reflections on her new hobby…

Read more
Friday, October 13, 2017

A solitary chicken and a lonely duck find solace together…

Read more
Friday, October 13, 2017

Decorate your eggs for Christmas – it’s fun and they look great! Julie Moore shows you how

Read more
Friday, September 15, 2017

Jeremy Hobson, Grant Brereton and Andy Cawthray debate the price of chickens

Read more
Friday, September 15, 2017

Dr Mihai Petcu is a farmer and chicken keeper… and the man behind Animal Farm, the first ever children’s farm in Romania. He talks to Jeremy Hobson

Read more
Friday, September 1, 2017

Brean Play is joining forces with The Salvation Army for its annual Christmas Toy Appeal, to help children in the local area this Christmas.

Read more

Most Read

Don't Miss...

Chickens Stateside

Fresh Eggs Daily

Follow us on Twitter

Like us on Facebook